1. Resonance - What Your Reactions Say About You

00:00:00: What happens when you look at your life the way physics looks in the world?

00:00:04: Physics and Life uses the language of the models of physics to understand human experience more clearly.

00:00:10: Not to reduce life into formulas, but find orientation in complexity And tell a difference between what is actually happening... ...and the story we tell ourselves about it.

00:00:21: I'm Barbara & You are listening to Physics In Life.

00:00:25: Today We're talking about Resonance.

00:00:28: Do YOU know

00:00:28: this?!

00:00:29: A conversation with a stranger?

00:00:31: It was short, but so intense that you keep thinking about it for days.

00:00:36: Or a film that moves you so deeply... ...that keeps working inside of your long after.

00:00:42: or you stumble across an ad for a course never ever searched before and you keep coming back to reading every detail.

00:00:49: We say they did something to me That resonates in my mind And most the time we explain these moments through what cost them.

00:00:58: This person must be someone special, this film is just really good and that course is simply brilliant.

00:01:05: Today we are looking at how physics understands resonance And How We Can Carry That Over Into Our Lives!

00:01:12: We will take four essential insights from the episode in one blind spot we like to overlook.

00:01:19: Let's go a playground To A Perfectly Ordinary Swing.

00:01:24: If you give a swing push then leave it alone.

00:01:27: It swings back and forth in its own rhythm.

00:01:30: That rhythm belongs to the swing, it depends mostly on the length of the chains.

00:01:35: A long swing moves slowly and calmly.

00:01:38: a short one swings fast with small quick movements And no matter how hard you push The rhythm stays the same!

00:01:46: A stronger push makes the arc bigger but the beat is unchanged... ...it lives in the swing itself.

00:01:52: Physics has her name for it The natural frequency.

00:01:56: Imagine you want to get a child swinging really high.

00:02:00: What do YOU DO without even thinking about it?

00:02:03: You push at exactly the moment this swing is about to move forward anyway!

00:02:08: Small pushes, none of them particularly strong but because every single one arrives in the swings own rhythm... ...the movement grows with each push The swing goes higher and higher.

00:02:20: This is exactly what physics calls resonance.

00:02:24: A push from outside meets the natural rhythm of a system, and the system starts to swing along powerfully.

00:02:32: Let's take this into life because you too have something like a rhythm of your own.

00:02:37: more precisely many things that make you who-you are And Many Of Them Have Been There For Long Time Your Experiences You Values Your Wishes & Longings Your Memories.

00:02:51: Some Of Them You Know.

00:02:52: Well Many are quietly waiting in the background.

00:02:56: They're all like this swing on the playground, they have their own rhythm and can be set in motion.

00:03:03: When someone or something touches you in a way that matches one of these vibrations it begins to swing along inside.

00:03:10: You feel moved?

00:03:12: That resonates with me!

00:03:14: Seen this way many moments suddenly make sense.

00:03:18: The ed for the course keeps popping up And open every single time.

00:03:23: The film that moves you deeply by the person next to you found it quite nice.

00:03:28: The short conversations with a stranger, they touched your right away so deeply that it stays for three or four days.

00:03:35: In all these moments something from outside met a rhythm That was already inside of you.

00:03:41: Back to the playground.

00:03:43: This time You try Something different!

00:03:45: You push this swing out of Rhythm.

00:03:48: Sometimes too early sometimes Too late...You will notice.

00:03:52: You can push as hard as you like.

00:03:54: Sometimes, you slow the movement down.

00:03:57: sometimes your push meets nothing at all.

00:03:59: it's almost impossible to get this ring really going and This leads to the first insight of this episode.

00:04:06: How strong their reaction is depends very little on how strong The Push Is.

00:04:11: It Depends On How Well The Push Fits!

00:04:14: It's exactly the same with us.

00:04:17: Half a sentence in passing Can Keep Working Inside You For Weeks while a big, loud event leaves you strangely calm.

00:04:25: A compliment from one person carries you through the week –the same compliment from someone else fades within a

00:04:31: minute.".

00:04:32: What matters is the fit!

00:04:34: Does it meet a vibration that's already there inside?

00:04:38: So let us stay for a moment with question of what all can lie in us ready to swing… An unfulfilled longing,

00:04:45: e.g.,

00:04:47: freedom or closeness or a fresh start, a beautiful experience that shaped the period of your life.

00:04:54: The smell of sunscreen and you are sixteen again back in the mountains when you were in your twenties.

00:05:00: A value that matters deeply to you like fairness or reliability.

00:05:05: An old dream You set aside at some point.

00:05:08: A talent That gets little room In your everyday Life A sense Of how you actually want To live.

00:05:14: And here's the important part The push from outside created none of this, and it placed nothing inside you.

00:05:22: The add for the course made your wish to learn something new visible!

00:05:26: It was already there – that's the second insight.

00:05:29: Resonance creates nothing new…it makes stronger what can already swing.

00:05:35: And thats exactly what make your resonance so valuable...It shows you whats lies ready inside you.

00:05:41: Let´s go back to this wing for one last observation Who is actually resonating?

00:05:47: The swing or the person pushing it.

00:06:15: While the conversation with this stranger keeps going round in your head for days, they may have long forgotten it.

00:06:22: For them It was one conversation among many.

00:06:25: When you fall in love This is exactly where One of most common traps lies.

00:06:31: There were something between us.

00:06:32: She must've felt too.

00:06:34: Maybe What swings inside The other person Is a separate system With its own frequencies.

00:06:41: You learn something about it by looking closely and asking.

00:06:45: Your own sense of being moved is an unreliable witness here!

00:06:49: That's why your strong reaction tells you at first only something about yourself.

00:06:56: Look at our examples once more, the course that we keep coming back to.

00:07:00: Objectively – It´s an ad like thousands others A few bullet points & a sign up button.

00:07:07: But to you it's special because It meets a vibration that is inside of You.

00:07:13: The film That moves you, it doesn't need an Oscar!

00:07:17: To YOU IT'S SPECIAL BECAUSE IT MATCHES ONE OF YOUR OWN VIBRATIONS And the stranger.

00:07:22: from their short conversation They probably just talk the way they often do.

00:07:27: What made this Conversation intense Is what it touched INSIDE YOU.

00:07:32: THE SOURCE DOESN'T HAVE TO BE SPECIALL AT ALL.

00:07:35: It becomes special through what resonates inside you.

00:07:39: Up to this point, resonance has sounded like something beautiful – a touching conversation alonging the value that matters deeply for you.

00:07:48: For physics though, resonance is simply a process… A push fits the system and it swings strongly!

00:07:56: That's all... There are no judgements anywhere in its formulas.

00:08:01: And now watch What This Means For The Unpleasant Moments The colleague who constantly interrupts in meetings.

00:08:08: Half the team shrugs it off, you're still angry hours later!

00:08:13: Your mother-in-law's remark about your parenting... ...your partner has forgotten that five minutes later… …it stays with YOU all

00:08:20: weekend!".

00:08:21: The friend whose late every single time.. ..the participant in a class fulfills EVERY silence with comments by THE OTHER SMILE ABOUT IT!

00:08:30: Same room same situation and completely different reactions.

00:08:35: So it can hardly be the situation alone, because then everyone would react the same way!

00:08:41: From the perspective of physics exactly the same thing is happening here as in the touching conversation something from outside meets a vibration that already exists inside you.

00:08:53: only this time something different is swinging.

00:08:56: maybe an old theme Maybe they need to be here.

00:08:59: that was overlooked too often in the past, The experience of constantly having to justify yourself.

00:09:06: In everyday life we call this a trigger.

00:09:09: Physics would say That Too is Resonance!

00:09:13: With that…the fourth insight is complete.

00:09:16: Resonant has no quality – the strength.

00:09:19: your reaction only tells you something touched already there whether it's precious or bounded.

00:09:27: That judgment is added by us.

00:09:30: Four insights have come together now, and when you lay them side-by-side the blind spot of this episode appears!

00:09:37: We treat our reactions like measurements of the world – This person specials, this film is brilliant…this colleague is impossible.

00:09:45: Physics shows a different picture.

00:09:48: A strong reaction is first off all a measurement.

00:09:54: it shows which vibration inside us was touched.

00:09:58: It says little about the cause, even less about other person's feelings.

00:10:03: and whether something precious or something wounded is swinging.

00:10:06: we only see a second glance.

00:10:09: Once you have seen this your resonance becomes measuring tool that can read with everything moves you strongly in delight just as much an anger.

00:10:19: You ask yourself new question instead of What is going on with the other person?

00:10:25: It becomes, what's inside me that can swing along this strongly.

00:10:30: I have four questions for you!

00:10:32: Pick one which stays with you most.

00:10:35: First Think of a person or moment in your mind right now If your reaction speaks first about YOU Which longing and theme was inside before this meeting?

00:10:48: Second Where did you recently take your own strong reaction as proof of another person's feelings?

00:10:55: And what remains when you keep only what you actually observed.

00:11:00: Third, What reliable drives up the wall while others barely react?

00:11:06: Which all vibration might be touched there?

00:11:09: and fourth Imagine a list of everything that has moved you deeply in recent months Conversations books music people you meet.

00:11:20: And what would that list reveal about your natural frequencies?

00:11:25: Let's bring the four insights of this episode together.

00:11:28: First, whether something moves you is decided by fit hardly by the force of push.

00:11:35: Second, resonance creates nothing new.

00:11:38: it makes stronger what already inside you.

00:11:41: Third, Resonance is one-sided.

00:11:44: It happens inside and says little about other person.

00:11:49: Resonance has no quality, triggers a resonance too.

00:11:53: And from all of this follows the key sentence for today's episode Your resonance speaks first about you.

00:12:01: It lets YOU hear what long been swinging inside you!

00:12:05: And one more thing Did your own life come to mind while listening and encounter moment that stays with you?

00:12:14: Send it to me In the coming episodes.

00:12:16: I take real situations from listeners and explore what physics makes visible in them.

00:12:22: No advice, no judgement!

00:12:24: We will find out how in this show note The next episode is about that in between when the old still carries your everyday life but has stopped feeling right And a new hasn't found its shape yet.

00:12:37: Physics calls attention.